Category Archives: Rave Reflections

DJ Deadly Buda comments on his years in the rave scene.

Sickened by my Past, Hallucinating my Future

I stand on the precipice sickened by my past while hallucinating a future. The past I dread is my life as a graffiti artist, rave promoter, dj, and producer. The future I dream of salvaging that past to make it beneficial to others and myself too.

My present is arguably not that bad… even great in many ways… however in the back of my mind nags projects unfulfilled, psychic debts that I owe, and responsibilities I must fulfill or forever bear their burden.

DJ Deadly Buda Speedcore Graffiti

On June 1st 1970 my parents gave me the name Joel, sometime around 1985 I adopted the name “Buda” and in 1991 my added the word “Deadly” to the beginning. I’ll tell you why later, but suffice to say I indelibly stamped those names on underground culture and right now I’m doing it again.

Based on the foregoing, I assume the average reader would surmise I suffer from over-indulgent self-importance, drip and dribble with unnecessary melodrama and faux flagellation – especially if they never heard of my alter-ego, “Deadly Buda”. Part of my brain feels exactly that way too. I excel at thinking I’m less-than, inadequate and chronically unimportant.  However, the facts tell something different. That’s the way it is with most all of us, and I’m here to tell you my version of it.

Why? Because I always took raving and graffiti writing quite seriously. Well, not always… I guess it got twisted in my life that way. I’m one of those “big picture” guys, always extrapolating the mundane into the cosmic. I loved the rave. I loved the music. I loved the clothes (well some). I loved the girls. I loved the promoters, djs, drugs, and illegal behavior. Just like graffiti, I loved the thing that was ABOUT THAT MOMENT, the fractalized kaleidoscopic whirlwind. I’m not alone in that.

But because I immediately took to the rave with a pioneering spirit and relentless evangelism I was thrust face-first into its limitations, dangers, and dark underbelly… and in the process, mine too. My sense of curiosity usually draws me to that stuff anyway. I quickly transformed “having a good time” into a long-suffering quasi-messianic mission of redemption. I don’t recommend that path currently. The great thing about it though, is I did the best I could at the time, and I’m left with some limited wisdom to help the next guy and gal that would invariably follow in my footsteps for however limited a time.

I have to put forth this disclaimer: WE ARE WORKS FOREVER IN PROGRESS. The insight I share now may be revised in the future, and there is undoubtedly someone out there that is more of an expert in everything I say… if you can find him/her. But here I am for the moment, so let’s make the best of it. Many things the average raver of today is involved with, I was involved with decades ago. So I can share what I found out. If you can utilize the info and it helps you... that would be f’in’ awesome. But if not, hey that’s cool too. It take all kinds and what I have maybe isn’t for everyone.

So finally I am updating my website. It’s been about…oh.. maybe 9 years since I seriously updated it. Some stuff got in the way, marriage, divorce, child, sobriety, legal battles, change of artistic direction, change of general philosophy, mind-numbing vicious resentment… the list of excuses go on. But I think I had to get some perspective so I could really once again share something valuable. It’s just the way it happened.

So what I’m going to do with this site now is update the blog frequently with my various writings/blogging what-have-you with a general idea of passing along my perspective on things we might be interested in. Also, I will be uploading my archives and linking to them. Archives of music, art, animation. It will also be a launching pad for new releases as well, most hopefully my animation project. So bookmark this page, I hope you come back everyday for something good and satisfying.

Ok so let's get this party started! Thanks to MixCloud, I can make my mixes available once again. So the first one I'm putting up is "Universal Dynamo." I will make a whole post about this mix soon. But for now, enjoy...

Universal Dynamo - DJ Deadly Buda - Hardcore Techno - Tekno - Breakcore - Rave - Gabber - Morph Beat by Dj Deadly Buda on Mixcloud

Why Would I be Sickened by My Past?

Some might find it disappointing that I would be troubled by my past in any way. After all, it seems that we are constantly encouraged to “Just Do It!”, “Play Hard”, “No Regrets”, the list of clichés goes on…

I’m naturally able to galvanize people into action. Not sure why, but I’ve just always been able to catalyze situations when I had to or felt the need. Looking back with perspective, I realize that due to my ignorance I had led people down some bad roads. Granted, I took those very same roads, but I wish I had more guidance at the time not only for myself, but for others.

DS-006 Somatic Response Cover
DS-006 Somatic Response Cover

Deep down, I’ve always wanted to do the right thing. My flirtations with immorality and vice were rarely satisfying. Like a pair of pants that just didn’t fit quite right. I’m not the best liar, poker player, schemer or thief. My forays into these areas have generally turned out quite bad and embarrassingly so. At some point I just had to face the facts: I’m no good at being bad.

There are people that are great at it, and I guess I can’t really blame them for their ways. Perhaps it is a natural part of their make-up. I’m not sure. When I feel a lack or inadequacy I find myself admiring the sociopathic personality. They seem to get exactly what they want… and what I want! Perhaps if I were great at the selfish arts I would employ them. The catch for me though is that maybe I just don’t want things bad enough. I generally don’t cheat at board games because I like the game and could care less really if I win or lose. But some people find all manner of ways to cheat at simple board games like Monopoly.

So, even in my most immoral periods, pulsing underneath was a persistent feeling that I was doing something ultimately good. Looking back in the big picture I know overall my influence was positive, but now I identify pitfalls, bad turns, and personal failings that I feel should be addressed. Partly to clear my conscience, but furthermore to help others and especially a new generation of youth. I didn’t have much guidance during my early 20’s and anything close to good advice I often rejected in my bravado. Missing in our culture is the passing of knowledge and even though I don’t qualify as an elder statesman, I am at least a little further down the road.

So I am sickened by my falls into pits, wrong turns, embarrassing things I said and did, moves I made and failings I cultivated. Yes undoubtedly there were immense positive things I assisted, but it is time to fine tune the experiences for the greater good.

In keeping with my pattern of uploading mixes, I present HellTrek Side A to Mixcloud and the site.

HellTrek Side A by Dj Deadly Buda on Mixcloud

Hallucinating the Future…Again.

Pain creates desire. Desire for alleviation of that pain in some way, and oftentimes desire manifests itself in our fantasies of the future. Unlike dreams, hallucinations are usually the result of some pain or discord in the body or mind and therefore can create elaborate fantasies, strategies, and madness… that can manifest in reality sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
I find that I am hallucinating again. This could be good or bad.
I think I shared some of my hallucination with you already: that I could transform my past into some worth to myself and others. In this vision I am DJing again, producing music again, animating again, painting graffiti again all the while maintaining a decent lifestyle raising my daughter, maybe even starting a new family, or maybe jet-setting around the globe as an international DJ of mystery, blogging from airport to airport, editing new jams at the gate, making my way back to LAX in time for my custodial obligations. It sounds funny but I’ve always been just on the verge of living this fantasy.
Key here for all of us is determining whether our desires stem from a good place or bad. Were they inserted and promulgated by the person or thing inflicting the pain so as to carry out their agenda?

Deddy's halucination from the Somatic Response EP
Deddy's halucination from the Somatic Response EP

Looking back to my days preceding my assumption of Deadly Buda, I can now map out some of the pain. And it started out really early… when I started watching tv and going to school. It was media that caused my pain.
It’s quite popular to blame parents and guardians for our emotional hang-ups and traumas. But upon careful reflection and consideration I would say that MEDIA, in general, has in recent times a far more devastating effect on our mental state. Sure, some people have crappy parents but they really are the minority. In general, most parents try hard to do right by their children, and any negative consequence of their love and care is generally unintentional. On the other hand, especially in the last century, mass media and education have served to enslave people without them knowing it. In fact, it has made people beg, clamor and test themselves for their slavery.
I remember cartoons and books and comic books and ghost stories and my family’s dinner conversations discussing the news would frighten me. I remember a comic book where a teen-ager was getting the best of Superman… this shook me to my core because I had faith in my elders. Likewise, school was a hotbed of introduction to pain via history class. Framing the arguments of who you should hate and admire, and therefore how to pattern your life to maintain an agenda set forth decades or centuries prior to your birth.
It was as I got older and started watching “older” programs where the pain was intensified rather than lessened. We think that as we get older we are wiser and think more critically. But looking back I merely upped the dose of programming that was laid before me. As a teen-ager, cartoon violence wasn’t real enough. In order to produce the mental effect that would alter my mindset and subsequent actions I would need to see more human-looking blood, more “adult” psychological problems with a grittier sheen such as “Hill Street Blues.”
I would read the newspaper and get incensed by whichever polar-opposite opposed that which I identified with… an identity that was getting more confused and manipulated each day by successive layers of programming: TV, Music, Books, Magazines, Movies. Have I escaped this tornado of confusion? Some, but I am not sure. I am at least cognizant of it now and can at least get perspective that might help me avoid more pitfalls.
The “entertainment” we enjoy has an agenda… but whose? The sum total of it all in my life convinced me to reject my family and rely on self-will. I am certainly not alone in this conclusion so I would say that the media laid before me had the intention of destabilizing important life-sustaining bonds, wisdom and security that otherwise would naturally occur – replacing my natural loyalties to a larger amorphous super-body that desired and used my energy.
So the “who’s” would be some higher stratosphere of society where the mass movements of persons and collective conscience were analyzed and manipulated on a daily basis – think tanks and their contributing corporations and non-governmental organizations mostly. Now in my life I wonder if there is a small subset of persons that really truly benefit from the top-levels of these entities, or are they just the well-dressed slaves of an inhuman force compelling their actions. As of this day I cannot say for certain.
So in my head and in my day-to-day life I fought wars for strangers and the deceased at the expense of myself and my family and neighbors… and they did too. Unknowingly we were conquered and refused to listen to anyone that might point out that fact. I searched in the underground for relief, only to find more virulent and devastating social programs. Enter: the early American rave scene.
As a pioneer in this scene, I ran into numerous roadblocks. Many of these were due to baggage and faults I carried with me into the situation. That said, many roadblocks also came from the fact I was unknowingly bumping into to forces more powerful than I, that let me flourish only so long as forwarded an agenda and when I was done, would have no use for me.
Thus, I present Side B of the classic Helltrek mixtape.

HellTrek Side B by DJ Deadly Buda by Dj Deadly Buda on Mixcloud

Pittsburgh Scene Report July 1993

BudaEPK_Page_327_Image_0001SLURP! Newsletter

Pittsburgh Scene Report

written by Deadly Buda of Turbo Zen

(July 1993) (USA)

I’m beginning to wonder about this word “scene”. When I hear the word “scene” in a social context (like, say, a large gathering of people) it brings to mind a bunch of people dressed alike and their mostly contrived patterns of social interaction. When I think about the word “scene” in a larger context, I think about visions- horizons, skylines, rivers, playgrounds, schools, highways, actions taking place within settings.

Pittsburgh is a fairly scenic place. three rivers, lots of cool bridges and highways, and hills so you can look all around you. The skyline is pleasant and there’ are many trees all over town. It is very inexpensive to live here and for the artistically inclined, lots of raw materials to work with. As far as raw rave potential goes, this town is sweet. Because the city is divided by many hills, each it’s own distinct community, the populace has an overall rural mentality House music was never big in Pittsburgh. Led Zeppelin is (and probably will be forever). Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Steve Miller, Lynrd Skynrd and AC/DC rule the airwaves, generally mystical dreamy rock stuff. Any dance music on the radio is of the sickest most commercial variety.

Here lies an interesting roadblock. The radio programmers monopolize their formats, never changing their rotations. When they do it is for BIG payola (provided by record companies, who have totally lost touch with what is happening musically) “The Electric Slide’ is still in heavy rotation for God’ sake! Because no one hears new songs, record stores can’t sell new music. Most “alternative” record stores in town are successful at selling what WAS alternative 5 years ago. Consequently, the “underground” is just discovering Industrial Music. The punks hate the hippies, the artists complain, shitty bands get booked, no one makes any money at what they want to do blah, blah, blah...

This makes the town a unique challenge for inspired airwave shakers - How do you get new dope sounds pumped out to people who are drummed into submission by the same stupid 100 songs almost 2 hours a day? Or, how do you get bombastically blasting bad-assest beats bounced in the ‘Burgh? It appears as if the strategy of playing “safe” trax like the mostly domestic commercial crud (like some labels I won’t name) because, ‘that’s what the crowd likes’ (says who? - a mistimed advertising campaign that cost thousands of dollars?) is a road to nowhere. Trying to explain this to people is - a road to nowhere also You are just required to constantly reassert the fact that the underground music will always move the crowd to more alarming degrees.

Much as 59 cent facsimiles of hamburgers are designed and produced to maximize profit, so are many facsimiles of something called techno-rave-house-tribal-trance. That is all many of these records do - maximize profit. It is truly disheartening to see d.j.s careers zapped into oblivion by playing this Shit. Another roadblock is that many of the people who say they are “ravers” in Pittsburgh (and many other places) are always attempting to imitate other people and other “scenes’. Rather than looking to harness their own energy and come face to face with their own potential, they subconsciously sabotage themselves by telling themselves the grass is greener elsewhere.

Turbo-Zen was accused of going “commercial” recently. Supposedly. there were too many big-hair chicks and jocks at our last event. Well, I guess this person thinks that intella-beams grow on trees, and that the only people who deserve to be unified in this unity movement are the ones just like him. This person was also espousing the values of “club” techno. Yes-music made for places that people get paid to pretend they are having fun to trick people out of their money Perhaps there is some kind of vitamin deficiency going on here. someone get a 9.000,000 liter recyclable bottle of choline shake shit! Ouick!

Our last rave “Hiqh-Voltage” was designed to bring together a totally mixed crowd, every prevalent style was integrated into a sonic 8 hour wave of ascending and descending BPM’s drawing on as much local talent as possible. Passing out flyers in places untouched by flyers before drawing a really diverse crowd, much of whom were exposed for the first time to the more extreme side of the music. Most people totally dug it! Noticeably absent were ‘the ‘scenesters” Who I guess were at home seperating themselves from the riff -raff. Rumor has it they were jamming to proressive house so that they could be more progressive than everybody else.

Everybody knows that homogenizing fat grooves and re-packaging them for people who truly emulate Crest and Tide advertising aesthetic is progressive. But alas, I’m getting testy here. “Zoom” and “Babylon” have opened and have techno or rave nights. I have to admit, Zoom plays some good trax but no one has been coming. Yet. Babylon plays awful music, and no one comes. People are coming to the Underground Raves.

The mixing styles of D.J.s like Side 2, Finger. +FX. Digital Jesus and myself have been getting wilder and more individual. Personal style on the turntables is tantamount. playing the grooves of the records as if some weird twisted ghost of an ancient blues musician has become trapped inside the mixer. For some reason Pittsburgh has always bred strange D.J.s like Porky Chadwick - this guy from the 50’s who still throws massive sock-hops today + soaks the labels off of his records so other local 50’s jocks can’t find out what he s playing! He’s still breaking “new’ tunes from the 50’s! Pittsburgh has always just secretly loved bizarre offshoots of musical movements and hoarded these vinyl treasures as it they were powerful magic spells.

So, all in all, Pittsburgh is going through interesting growing phases, and I truly think that something very special will blossom from this area. I want to encourage everybody, wherever they are to stay true to what they believe in. Do not listen to what other people say other people said. Cherish your deepest thoughts’ Schmegda-Magnus!

P.S. Does anyone out there know where I can get a copy of *P.S.K. What does it mean?”

Next Issue. Deadly Buda comes back with MORE

Algorhythm 2 Rave Halloween-Somewhere in Pittsburgh

Here's a re-print of a fanzine article about Algorythm 2, my favorite part is, "Then there was this gorgeous (even better than the -skinny brunette at the copy place) girl with black or brown curly short hair. She had a shirt that was black with a star on it. She was SO beautiful and so into it and so together. If you know her, PLEASE lead her to me and the ‘zine cause she Just rules beyond compare. Plus, she has the’ cutest little nose." Total early 90's rave scene -Deadly Buda

Ephedrine - an early rave fanzine from about 1993.Technobeat

by Nitro ’93

Ephedrine Fanzine Issue 1, (published approximately 1993)

In the beginning, this rave was really - on the down side. The music was great, don’t get me wrong. I don’t know who the early dj’s were, but they were good. What sucked was the absense of people that were really into the whole thing. Usually that’s okay because the drugs that these drones come for cause a really cool scene, as well as converting non-ravers into the digiboy that I’ve managed to become over the years. But, there-weren’t even any drugs there which made these people rather angry and there were even some stupid jock assholes keeping with their Jock image by trying to start fights.

Another problem was the location. It was held in a dusty warehouse that was used as a paintball course and that paintball shit was everywhere which made it impossible to lean on anything when I got tired of dancing due to lack of drugs. Even the kick-ass smart drinks (at $4 a pop) and equally overpriced nitrous ballons (5 bucks!What the fuck?!?) had absolutely no evident effect on me. But then- DEADLY BUDA ‘came on and tore it up with the techno-insanity that causes cancer in laboratory rats. It was if the ecstacy were in the music and I didn’t ‘need any drugs cause he just rules. I couldn’t control my feet so I started skankin’ like I was at a Circle Jerks show in 1980 or something. Then there was this gorgeous (even better than the -skinny brunette at the copy place) girl with black or brown curly short hair. She had a shirt that was black with a star on it. She was SO beautiful and so into it and so together. If you know her, PLEASE lead her to me and the ‘zine cause she Just rules beyond compare. Plus, she has the’ cutest little nose.

TeChNobEaT by Nitro '93 articleOkay, enuff of that silliness back to the rave. BUDA was spinning some evil shit... and that great girl and everything ... Nothing” could go wrong. The time change made it 3am instead of four... the one and only LENNY DEE was going to pick up the-sounds next...THAT.. FUCKING GIRL ... then ... the cops raided the shit!!! What a mindfuck.

We then proceeded to a 24hr. diner around the corner and almost got kicked out for making noise. Two of my friends were on acid that they brought with them so they were sorta trippin’ and just fuckin’ things up even worse But, the good thing is that we met some people and turned them on to the zine and I should be hearing from them soon (HI Baby Jessica!). The worst part is, I’ll probably never meet the girl of my dreams again, and, here’s the kicker-on the way home from dropping everyone off I flipped my fucking car. Man. That truly sucks.-N193

EDC Las Vegas 2015: An Old-Schooler’s Perspective

Let’s get it out of the way: Despite its multi-million dollar budget, Insomniac’s Electric Daisy Carnival Las Vegas 2015 was an old school rave. As a writer, you really want to criticize SOMETHING about the festival, so you can seem like you are giving a balanced portrayal. But really this rave lived up to its hype.

Tiesto DJing on the Kinetic Field stage at EDC Las Vegas 2015
Tiesto DJing on the Kinetic Field stage at EDC Las Vegas 2015

The scope and attention to detail is beyond what any aspiring rave promoter “back in the day” (including Insomniac I’ll wager) even dreamed of, seriously. I should know. I was one. I threw my first rave in 1991, owned one of America’s first techno record shops, have written for rave fanzines and magazines on and off for decades, produced music, and I’ve DJed all over this fine country. So with a certain amount of credibility I can say that EDCLV 2015 was so over-the-top, so lavish from a classical rave perspective, that my mind boggled.

Basscon Wasteland area at EDC Las Vegas 2015
Basscon Wasteland area at EDC Las Vegas 2015

Despite the 450,000 people at over $300 a ticket, one might still marvel at how this event broke even—another old school rave trait. Not content with their last success, Insomniac went even bigger. Many an old-school rave promoter lost their shirts that way, but it didn’t stop Insomniac. First off, the fireworks were more intense than I’ve seen at Disneyland. It was a non-stop finale from beginning to end. The various dance areas were visually artistic. The sound-systems were kickin’ and clear. The DJ and live-act talent had a major representative from nearly every EDM sub-genre. They could’ve had a little more hardcore in my opinion but at least EDC had some, unlike a lot of mainstream raves today.

Circuit Garden Arena at EDC Las Vegas 2015
Circuit Garden Arena at EDC Las Vegas 2015
Crowd at the Bassrush Basspod area.
Crowd at the Bassrush Basspod area.

Amusement rides were at the ready for festival goers. Street performances, if not done to absolute perfection, were done with so much heart their enthusiasm was contagious. And, THERE WERE CHILL-OUT AREAS. So many raves today have forgotten about the importance of the “ambient chill room” so you can escape the sonic maelstrom and relax. It was back in full effect at EDCLV 2015. There was something even for the snobby ravers, such as VIP areas. But those were few and far between and didn’t interfere with the vast majority’s good time. In fact, they were kinda hard to find.

Chill Out Area at EDC Las Vegas 2015
Chill Out Area at EDC Las Vegas 2015

Over the years some things have changed. The fashion is far removed from the baggie pants and hoodies of the 90’s. Basically it was a lot of bikinis and anime-inspired costuming. It was however, 91 degrees just about every night, so the dress was arguably appropriate. I didn’t hear or see anyone selling drugs, amazingly. Obviously at any big event drugs and alcohol will be present but Insomniac seems to be taking the most forward-thinking, advanced steps in crowd safety. We will have to wait until our society finally demystifies, legalizes and stops glamorizing so-called “recreational drugs” if we want to truly solve America’s drug problems.

Crowd at Kinetic Field
Crowd at Kinetic Field

Two important words: FREE WATER. That’s an improvement on the old days. Imagine being in a sweaty warehouse where the promoter turns off the water faucets so you have to buy bottled water. That happened all the time back-in-the-day. Those shady cat promoters charged $5 for a bottled water back in the early ‘90s!

Another shot of the Basscon Wasteland stage
Another shot of the Basscon Wasteland stage

Corporate sponsorship. Yes, 7-Up had their own stage but 7-Up’s logo wasn’t plastered everywhere you looked. Practically every promoter back in the day would have loved corporate sponsorship and pursued it. So, I’m not crying “sell-out” by any means. Camel and Marlboro used to sponsor MayDay, Love Parade, all kinds of stuff. At least we didn’t have to rave around jittery chain-smokers this time around. An improvement, in my opinion.

Another Chill-Out area at EDCLV 2015
Another Chill-Out area at EDCLV 2015

So this might shock you—but I’ll lay it on the line. If you raved “back-in-the-day” I’m happy to say you would have found a lot to like at EDCLV this year. The same spirit and energy you might have remembered from your rave-days is present and noticeable in this new generation, and Insomniac obviously took great care to make that happen and even improve on it.

Monday Morning at EDCLV 2015
Monday Morning at EDCLV 2015